Memorial Day Experiences and Lessons

A brief history of Memorial Day, my memories and lessons learned throughout the years.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Well, hello ladies and gentlemen. Welcome once again to the Amazing Journey Podcast. I am your host, Mike. Thank you so much for taking the time to be with us and to listen and spend around the next half hour together. Today is our promised Memorial Day episode. And we're going to start the episode as we we have for the last few by talking about some musical selections that seemed uh appropriate to me for Memorial Day weekend. The first is by Avici, the 2013 hit Hey Brother. Very, very powerful song. Even more powerful video if you bring it up on the YouTube or on Rumble or whatever video platform you're able to access. The second one that I think sets the right tone for Memorial Day and the weekend that surrounds it is Chicken Fried by the Zach Brown band. They're hit from 2005. And then the last one that came to me to point out to you on this episode is The Spirit of Radio by Rush, originally recorded in 1980. Although I will say my preference is the version performed live at the Toronto Rocks 2003 concert when they went and they played their hometown. And they opened the song with the guitar entrance from The Rolling Stones Painted Black. I always found Rush to be an exceptionally talented band, and they really nail it with that performance. So those are our musical selections. If you are of the age that you haven't heard them yet, I encourage you to look them up. And I think you will agree that there's some great tunes. And if you are from the generation that has heard about them, look them up anyway and have a good listen. And I hope they bring you as much joy as they brought me over the years. So we're going to talk about Memorial Day for a few minutes. I think any discussion of Memorial Day should begin with a little bit of history, a very brief history, as somebody extremely close to me reminds me. Nobody wants to hear a lot of history. So two to three sentences, and we'll be moving on. Originally, Memorial Day was called Decoration Day. And it was established to honor the Union soldiers that were killed during the American Civil War or War Between the States, depending on which part of the country you grew up in. After World War I, it was used to honor all who died in all of America's wars. And then in 1975, Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act, making the last Monday in May the day that Memorial Day would be celebrated moving forward. The facts that I just presented to you can be verified on the website PBS.org as well as several others out there. I just happened to go to PBS.org. I've been a PBS nerd for most of my life. And I find that they they tend to be pretty accurate and pretty factual in their reporting of things. So again, the to set the table here, Memorial Day is celebrated and was established to honor the dead who died in the service of our nation. As a side note, I want to make a very clear distinction here. And as somebody that made a career wearing the cloth of our nation as my uniform, Memorial Day celebrates those veterans that have died defending our country. Veterans Day celebrates veterans that are still alive. That, of course, is in November. So if you walk up to somebody who is in uniform on Memorial Day and you thank them for their service, it can make some of them feel funny because this is the day that we're supposed to be remembering the dead. And I learned a long time ago that nobody ever means to make somebody in uniform feel funny. But just understand if you're going to address somebody in uniform on Memorial Day, thank them for remembering the people who died in the service and defending this nation. Thank them for their service proper in November on Veterans Day. Memorial Day is one of these holidays that has had a very special meaning to me my entire life. And the way that I've celebrated has morphed throughout my life. As a child, from about six years of age up until I became a man at the age of 18. Every memorial day started at my grandmother's house. I would sleep over the Sunday night before, usually watching The Wonderful World of Disney. Anybody who ever watched The Wonderful World of Disney back in the day knows exactly what I'm talking about. Herbie the Love Bug, Flubber, Escape from Witch Mountain, classics. We would get up Monday morning, and it was a little over a mile walk up a hill. No, not uphill both directions, just uphill in one direction, to a Catholic cemetery where a mass was held. And pardon me. Got a little choked up. But a memorial mass was held. That usually took about an hour. When Mass was done at the cemetery, we would walk back down the hill into the little city where my grandmother lived. And we would get our spot. We would secure our spot on the parade route right next to the railroad tracks in front of one of two diners. There was a diner on each side of the tracks. And these diners will come into play here in just a moment. We'll get there. And the parade every year went as follows. It started with a police car, and then the two fire trucks that the city had for the fire department. And then there was a fife and drum corps, and then there was the Knights of Columbus, and then there was the Elks, then there was the high school cheerleaders, usually a collage of male varsity athletes, somebody from the Christian youth organization basketball teams, a couple of little league teams, the Boy Scouts, a local landscaper, and then the parade ended with a police car, and then the sanitation truck with the workers running all the way down the main street, cleaning up all of the debris that some folks that were at the parade left behind. And then when the parade was done, we got to decide which restaurant we were going to go to, depending on my grandmother's culinary taste on that particular year. Now that also depended on how hot it was outside. My grandmother was always partial to like some type of fried fish, like a haddock or a sole or some type of white fish. The diner on the east side of the railroad tracks had much better fish than the diner on the west side. If it was hot and she had just wanted a cold sandwich, we would go to the diner on the west side of the railroad tracks because they had better iced tea. After that, we would walk back home to grandma's flat. We would go upstairs. She would uh retire to her room. I would retire to mine. We would take a nice nap for a couple hours. I would listen to some type of sporting event on the radio, usually a baseball game. And then when we woke up, it was time for dinner, and we would go up the street to a second cousin's house who has a beautiful backyard, an amazing in-ground swimming pool. And that was the unofficial start to our summer. And the innocence that went along with those days, the predictability, the repetition. You know, you remember the dead, you go to mass, you enjoy time with the community, you watch the parade, literally got to watch people start out where they're in little league, and now they're on the varsity team and they're getting ready to go to college. It was a really, really neat and wonderful experience that taught me how important the sense of community and togetherness in a small city was. I missed those days very, very, very much. Then I started college. Circumstances were such that I did not go away to college. I was a commuter student. And so my friends that did go away to college used to tell me that I didn't go to college. I went to 13th, 14th, 15th, and 16th grades. And there were times I I think that they were correct. I I look back over the years and I think I missed quite a bit by not living on campus. I mean, I saved a lot of money, and my mother and grandmother's cooking, I think, was probably better than the school cafeteria, but not sure. Anyway, I digress. When I was in college, I was in the Naval Reserve Officer Training Corps. And that is where I learned that when you were in the service to your nation, more often than not, holidays, especially holidays like Memorial Day, the 4th of July, and Veterans Day, they were probably not going to involve time off. As you were in for a few years, you know, down the road, you know, if it if you weren't on duty or other people had covered down the events, you would have time off and get to enjoy the day. But over the course of a 20-year career, I think I had one memorial day off, and that was because um I had gotten very, very sick overseas, so I was designated sick in quarters. But for the four years that I was in college, I learned the importance of going to these memorial events, going to the cemeteries, you know, putting the flags on the graves of all the people who had served, laying wreaths, being a guest speaker. It's where you learn how to address the public in uniform. You have to have the discipline to speak with proper grammar and language and diction and no slang and foul language or anything like that. But but you realize the vast majority of the taxpayers of this country were extremely proud of you. You know, and and the ones that weren't necessarily fans of the military, 90% of them, it was nothing personal. They just they didn't like the fact that the military was used as essentially armed thugs in some cases to go around and and do the bidding of corporations. That discussion is certainly out of the scope of what this podcast is about. You know, my point for this line of thought is I never felt anything but support, both in the four years of college and the 20 years after college graduation where I went and served around the world. And now as a commissioned officer, starting as a junior officer and then getting more senior, you know, you're kind of overseeing these events. When you're a junior officer, you have to worry about all the logistics and all the widgets and making sure everything works. And as you go through the ranks to get more senior, a lot of times you're just almost like a potted plant. You sit there until it's your turn to speak or judge the pass in review as people are marching by and you know your your your role changes. But but every role that you play is equally important because inevitably at any of those events, you are going to run into family members, spouses, children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles. You are going to run into people who lost somebody in the defense of our nation. And they are going to come up to you, and they are going to share the stories of their loved ones. My father was in the big red one during World War II. The last letter we got from him was in February. He was killed by sniper fire from a German machine gun nest. And they're re they're recounting what happened to their loved one, like it happened this morning. And you learn to be a good listener. Are you hot as heck? Yes. It doesn't matter what uniform in you're in, it's always a dress uniform. It's always uncomfortable. You always feel like you're going to pass out. But you really learn that self-discipline to put all of that, your discomfort aside and give these people your undivided attention. First and most importantly, because it's the correct and humane thing to do. And secondly, their tax dollars are paying your salary. So the least you can do is listen to them. I never minded. I met some so many wonderful people over the years. And that was one of the lessons that I learned in my amazing journey in life is wherever you go, 90% of the people you come in contact with are just good salt of the earth people. It's that 10% that we'll discuss in a future episode. My my favorite 10%. And then post-retirement, when I retired from the service and came back to my hometown, I found something interesting. Um, my last duty station, stateside, was in Chicago, Illinois. And there was a retirement home that I used to go to for the two years before I retired from the Navy. And I would be their guest speaker and their master of ceremonies, and we would do a 21-gun salute. There were a lot of veterans in residence there from all branches of service. And I really enjoyed it. And for the first three years of my retirement, they would ask me to come back, and I would get on a plane, and it was a good incentive to keep in shape so that I could put my uniform on. And yes, for those of you asking, it still fits. Uh, you know, the the thing about Navy uniforms, when you hang them, they they get a little tight in the shoulders. So uh I do need to get a new dress uniform because it's a little tight in the shoulders. You know, we're not going to talk about the abdomen, but uh still clean up okay. Um and it's uh it was an absolute privilege for me to put the that uniform on when I was 18 years old. And it's an absolute privilege when I'm asked to put it on for an official event now. I certainly don't do as anywhere near as many official events as I did when I was on active duty. I try to leave that for the younger folks still on active duty because you know they need to have their time. Um so that was that was my time in uniform. When I when I retired, uh for the last 13, 14 years or so, my Memorial Day routine is to get up on either Saturday or Sunday, depending on the weather and well, when my mom tells me we're gonna do it, and we go and we take care of all of the graves of our deceased relatives. Uh, there's four large cemeteries in the area that we live, where we live, and we go from cemetery to cemetery and we clean up all of the gravestones uh for the people that are in our families that that meant something to us. I had been asked recently when my most memorable Memorial Day was, and it was one shortly after I came back from a deployment to the Middle East. And there there it was a very big celebration for a decent-sized town in Rhode Island, and there was a the parade route was two and a half miles, which felt like it was a hundred degrees out that day. I'm in a a choker white uniform with a sword and and gloves. So I'm I'm roasting. Uh and after the two and a half mile march, um, and I didn't know this ahead of time, but they said, you know, our our guest speaker fell ill last night. Would you mind saying a few words? And it was the first time I ever spoke before 3,000 people. So I had this little voice telling me, don't screw it up with the voice of a little angel. So uh we talked about it years later, and that little voice told me that I did a good job and that she was proud of me. So that that was probably the most memorable memorial day throughout the course of my youth and and adulthood. And now it's a wonderful experience to be able to spend that time with my mom. We either start the day with breakfast or we finish up with a lunch, depending on her culinary preference for that day. A lot of times it the heat determines what we're going to do as well. If we know it's going to be a hot one, we'll we'll eat breakfast. And that way when we're done, we can go home and we can cool off. So wouldn't have it any other way. It it's become, again, for most of us, it is the unofficial kickoff to summer. And for me, at this stage in my life, all of the winter equipment, the snow shovels, the ice choppers, the snowblowers, are put away. And we are now in riding lawn mowers, push mowers, weed eaters, power blowers. We are gardening tools, we are full on getting ready for the for the temperate and beautiful weather. So that is Memorial Day celebrations in a nutshell. We're at the point in the program where we're going to take a quick break and talk about some of Mike's favorite products. The first off the list that is a staple in my refrigerator and has been for about the last 40 years is Frank's red hot sauce. I am partial to the Buffalo Wing variety. I mean, the commercial says they put it on everything. And boy, I know I do. Except these magically delicious brownies that somebody makes me. I don't put them on the brownies. But I put it on just about everything else, and it is magically delicious. If you haven't tried Frank's red hot sauce, I highly recommend you do so, and I highly recommend the Buffalo Wing variety. The second thing that I have rediscovered is Royal Crown Cola, RC. They used to have such a catchy jingle when I was a kid on the radio. Me and my RC. Oh, I loved it. I'd sing that jingle over and over and over again. I've always been a Pepsi Cola man, but I do love me some RC. It's got a unique, distinct taste. The one thing about RC is once you crack it open, you better drink it quickly because it does not have as much carbonation as Coca-Cola or PepsiCola has. But it is still available in a lot of decent-sized grocery stores and some bodegas. So if you see an RC, grab a six-pack, chill it, throw it over ice, you won't be sorry. And then the last thing, um, a little known fact about me, I have an obsession with flashlights. And one of my favorite brands of flashlights is the Nebo brand, NEBO, or November Echo Bravo Oscar for you military types. They are fantastic. Well designed, extremely durable. Batteries last a long time in them. Nebo flashlights, they will definitely light up your life. So we're in the home stretch of this podcast, and I'd like to talk about some lessons, some takeaways. What decoration day or memorial day has taught me as a person over the years. I have used it as the opportunity to expand the day to personally include everybody in my life that I lost. I understand the spirit and the intent of having a day to remember our war dead. But there are times I think life for all of us can be like a war. And I think anybody who passes deserves to be remembered, just not on their birthday or the anniversary of their passing. If you're at the cemetery paying respects and the people that you love are there, take that extra time to clean up their graves, say a little prayer or send a blessing or some good wishes, whatever your faith denomination or belief system is. It's something that I have done and it and it brings me great joy, and it kind of helps to make sure that I don't ever forget them. Second, when I examine people that I've loved in my life and I have lost through death, a lot of times I had a tendency to focus on the last few months of their lives before they died. If it was a friend in the service who passed in a combat zone, you think about the horrific circumstances under which they died. And now I I've hit the point in my life where I'm able to reframe it and really look at it and drill down into it and view the rest of their life before I focus on the part where they left us. I focus on their life more than I do their death. Focus on the good things. Don't just focus on the end. The next thing that I uh that I do, and I would encourage all of you to do because it gives such a wonderful feeling. Take an extra few minutes and tidy up a grave that's near the grave of one of your loved ones or your friends that has clearly been neglected. One of the things that I have done, it's helped me to find some a new level of compassion or empathy. It it really saddens me. It bothers me that somebody can pass and there's nobody there to even cut the grass back or put a little soap and water and scrub the stone. You know, you always wonder, I always wonder, what has happened? You know, did the family line just die out? Did these folks have nobody? Did, you know, what happened? And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter. If you see a stone where it's becoming overgrown and unkempt and untidy, it's the right thing to do for the memory of somebody that you didn't know. It's at some point they were a human being, just like we are. And they paid their dues in life, just like we all do. And besides the fact, if you can't find any other reason to do it, you know, it's like living in the neighborhood and you keep your property pristine and your neighbors are slobs and keep their house a dump. Nobody wants to live next to a dump. So don't let the dump be next to the gravestone of the person that you love. The next thing that I'd like to pass along, you've heard me mention a couple of times that Memorial Day is viewed as the unofficial start to summer. And that's wonderful. Summer doesn't officially start until June 21st. If we can get an extra three, four weeks of great weather, that's fantastic. But with summer comes a lot of activities and things that need to be done safely. If you're out boating, operate that boat safely. If you've treated yourself to a new super duper high-speed motorcycle, operate that motorcycle safely within the same speed limit that everybody else driving a car should be following. Make sure you have that protective equipment on. You know, if it's a hot day and it's too hot for you to wear leather in a helmet, then leave the motorcycle at home and drive something with four wheels. Don't play with matches. Please leave the firework shows to the expert. Don't mess around with stuff that goes boom for fun. Don't do that. Everybody loves a nice summer bonfire. Do it safely. Make sure that there's no burn bands in your area. Make sure that you have a garden hose that is charged with water. When you turn the spigot, it comes on. Common sense stuff that we all know. But when the weather gets nice, some of us get a little flaky. So please don't be one of the frosted flakes. Please, please do things wisely. Above all, please do not drive impaired, either with drink, either with illicit drugs or prescription drugs. Have a good time. Find a different way to get home. If you're going to put that stuff in your body, please don't get behind the wheel and turn the key. The results are catastrophic, not only for the people that you love and the people that love you, but a lot of times the innocents are caught up in these horrible, tragic accidents, too. And that's not fair to anybody. So these are lessons that I've learned along the way in my journey in life and my amazing journey, as I say every week, like to share that knowledge with you. Like to say thank you once again for spending time with me on this podcast. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have. I've enjoyed it immensely. If there's something that you would like me to discuss or something that has triggered a great memory in your mind that you'd like to share with me, please send me an email at the AmazingJourney Podcast at PM.me. Once again, that's the Amazing Journey Podcast at PM.me. I'm wishing all of you a healthy and safe and pleasant Memorial Day weekend and an unofficial start to summer. Remember those that have gone before us, remember them fondly. Do what we can to maintain the cemeteries, do what we can every day to make the world a little bit better place than we found it when we woke up in the morning. Until the next time, ladies and gentlemen, thank you again for giving me your most precious gift of time. Be safe, be well, be kind. This is Mike signing off, and I'll catch you all on the flip side.