Reflecting on another trip around the sun.

Reflections and lessons learned on my 55th birthday.

Transcript

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Hello, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome back to the Amazing Journey Podcast. I'm your host, Mike. Want to start the show as we often do by saying thank you for taking the time and giving me the next half hour of your life to explore some topics that interest me and maybe get some reflections, gain some wisdom. Got an exciting show this week. We're going to be talking about the reflections of another trip around the sun, known in laypeople's terms as your birthday. I hit the big five-five this week, ladies and gentlemen. Double fives. I look back, I can't believe it. There are days that the spirit of the young boy and the young man is alive and well. And the body just takes a little bit longer to catch up. But regardless, no day is a guarantee. That's why they call each day the present. I look at it as a present. And I'm very grateful that you're taking the time to share my birthday with me and celebrate my next trip around the sun. Before we tap into the College of Musical Knowledge today, I thought it was important to just touch briefly on the history of birthday celebrations. Where did it start? How did we get them? In recorded history, it dates back to ancient Egypt, where the pharaohs who believed that they were gods celebrate uh celebrated their coming to earth and becoming god. And they would eat cake. And that was the tradition that was started basically in Germany in the 18th century, that had sort of a pagan ritual background with the cake and the candles and the fire and the gifts, honoring our time on this planet, honoring ourselves as gods. So that has morphed into the more traditional celebrations that we see around the world in different cultures today. The first hit is by the Beatles. It's When I'm 64, written and sung by Sir Paul McCartney in 1967. That is off the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album, one of the greatest albums ever produced in the history of music. And it's a very, very profound philosophical song that asks how are things going to be when I'm 64 years old. Sir Paul wrote this song somewhere between 14 and 16 years. And I think it would be interesting to sit down and ask him if life was everything that he thought it would be when he was a young man. The second song is by the Zach Brown band. It's probably one of my top 10 favorite songs. And it's called Toes from 2006, off of the Foundation album. And for those that haven't heard it, it's the jingle of a man who goes to a Caribbean island, has an amazing vacation, spends all of his money, comes home broke, and now he can't get on a plane and go to the beach at the ocean anymore, so he's got to go to the lake and put his feet in the mud. But every time I hear it, I always think of my time near the ocean. As you know, if you've listened to my beaches episode, it's one of my favorite places to be. And the final song we'll throw out there today is off of the Changes in Attitudes, Changes, Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes album from 1977 by Jimmy Buffett, and that's Margaritaville. Um, most of us of a certain age have been to Margaritaville a time or two. The important thing is not that you came home with no flip-flops, that you stepped on a pop tot, you know, uh, but that you made it home. That's the important thing. You got up the next day. How you got home, you haven't a clue. Not important. You got there. A friend's phone is ringing with somebody else asking for your number. Not important. The important thing is you made it home. Looking back over my own life, I have jotted down a few birthdays that were memorable to me. Um, the first was my sixth birthday because it was the first time that I had all of my extended family there. My grandmother and grandfather on my father's side, my grandmother on my mother's side, my uncle from my mother's side, uncles, aunts, and cousins from my father's side, my my maternal grandfather had passed. Um, I was six years old, everybody was around on the birthday cake that my mom had had made for me that year. Were two pandas, a mama and a baby panda. And I still have those pandas. And a little secret, those pandas have gone with me everywhere in the world. Anytime that I went overseas, anytime I went into a combat zone, I had those pandas waiting for me wherever I slept, so that I could look at them and never forget the kind little boy that was in there. It always grounded me. So that was a very, very significant birthday for me. Uh the next one on the docket would be my 16th birthday, because where I grew up, you could get your learner's permit and your driver's license at 16. And that was when my world got a whole lot bigger. I went from walking or a bicycle to being able to drive my car, bring my brother and sister to school and their social events. I was able to help my parents out by bringing my grandmother to her doctor's appointments, and I was able to get to work at the family business under my own power, which I must say beat the city bus. The next one at the time was my 18th birthday, and that was the be-all and end all because now I'm legally an adult. And I I looked back over it and it was one heck of a scam. I mean, yes, legally I was an adult. I had to sign up for the selective service, which means I could be drafted and sent to die. But looking back, I kind of think that I the whole system was set up to screw people like me because I was old enough to go across the seas and fight in some country for another for representative republics or democracies or whatever caused the journey I could be sent to fight for, but I wasn't old enough to buy a glass of beer or a mixed drink in my own country. Didn't make sense then, doesn't make sense now. Am I an adult? Am I not? If I'm an adult, I should be able to have a glass of beer. If I'm not an adult, I don't think you should be sending me off to war. Anyway, I digress. My 19th birthday was great because uh one of the gifts that I was given was a propane griller, a propane grill. And I had it in my mind that I was going to be the best barbecue and grilling chef that ever existed. And so I had grilled hamburgers and hot dogs and chicken for everybody in my family who had come to the party, and I think just about everybody got food poisoning. So I want everybody to know that I've worked all of the bugs out. That's not an issue anymore. I do a fine job behind that grill, and I haven't made anybody sick in a very, very long time. So long time. The next milestone birthday for me was my 23rd birthday because it was my first birthday away from home, and I was all by myself. I was on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I had uh fairly, fairly around the same time. It was a couple of couple of months before that. I had gotten, you know, every fella's worst nightmare, which is what they call a Dear John letter. I got the Dear Mike letter. Um, I was all by myself. I was heartbroken. I'm halfway around the world. Um, I had nobody. It was a very, very lonely birthday. And about halfway through the day, I realized that I was being paid to be on a tropical island. Um, so I went to the beach and I had several glasses of coconut rum and pineapple juice, and we pulled a great day out of one that didn't start so hot. But uh, but I I remember that fondly now looking back on it. Uh no, I didn't get smashed, plastered, make a fool of myself. I I was a very responsible drinker. I watched the sunset over the ocean, shot a few games of billiards, had a nice Mongolian supper, and uh went home and called it a day. So my 23rd was monumental. My 27th birthday was an incredibly special day for me because my daughter was my birthday present that year. Um, she was born a few days before, but my birthday was anticlimactic when I saw her come into the world, and the the course of my life changed and uh changed for the better. And if you listen to this pumpkin pie, I love you very, very much. And then the last birthday that I will mention, because um they kind of got depressing after this, was my 30th birthday. And in my 30th, on my 30th birthday, I was stationed in London, England, and I had a very important meeting at our headquarters on North Audley Street, which was Kitty Corner, from the United States Embassy in Grosvenor Square. It was a very important meeting. Now, from where I my little base was, I had two ways to get down into central London. The first is on what we call the fast train, which was Chiltern Railways. You picked it up in West Ryslip. And exactly 22 minutes later, you were pulling into London Marleybone. That was my preferred way to get to our headquarters down in London. If you missed it, then you had to take the London Underground, also affectionately known as the tube, which is what all of us sailors call the slow boat, because where you picked up the tube and West Rice Lip, and you got off either at Oxford Street or Marble Arch, depending on where you were going to go to lunch before you went to the headquarters building, it was uh just under an hour ride at the time. So, my luck being my luck some days, I missed the fast train, I have to get on the tube. And at a stop called Perryvale, uh, two very stunning-looking women got on. I wasn't being a pervert or anything, but sometimes you just can't help but notice when somebody is very stunning looking. And uh they said hello, and I said hello back, and uh they sat down, and wouldn't you know it, one of their mobile phones fell out of their purse. Well, being the respectable gentleman and American ambassador that I was at the time, I said, ma'am, you dropped your phone, and oh my word, you're an American. I love the accent, yeah, guilty as charged, and we start having a conversation. Well, we get to the point on the London Underground where there's a stop called Notting Hill Gate. And as fate would have it, these two ladies were getting up to get off, and they start whispering to one another like two schoolgirls. And the one of them, the more confident of the two, said, You know, my friend and I would like to know if you would like to join us for lunch. And I said, I can't thank you enough for that offer. I'm very humbled by it and flattered by it, but I I have this distinct feeling that my wife would not approve. Oh, sorry, we didn't see your ring, and I didn't mean no problem. I said, Have a great day. It's nice chatting with you. They go to get off the train, and one of them turns around and goes, You know what? You're pretty cool for an older guy. And ladies and gentlemen, I've never had an ice pick through the middle of my heart, but if I did, I think it would replicate the feeling that I felt on the London Underground that day on my 30th birthday. I have no recollection of walking into the headquarters building. I cannot tell you what any of the meeting was about. I don't remember who was there. All I remember thinking is, oh my God, I am six hours into being 30 years old, and I'm already old. I remember going home that night. My family had a lovely dinner and a birthday cake. And when everybody went to bed, I went out in the garage, I put every free weight I had on the bench press bar. It was like 260 pounds at the time. I'm bench pressing, I'm hitting the heavy bag, I'm hitting the speed bag, and I still had it, even though I was an older guy. Uh 40 and 50 were both really climactic. So uh 55 uh I know was going to be wonderful. There are going to be great things ahead in this year. I have an amazing person in my life who loves me very, very much. I'm a very blessed man. I have a podcast that I love doing, and I have friends that I've made doing this podcast. So I'm looking for great things on 55 and onward. We are at the part of the show where we're going to do um some shout-outs that are a little bit different. Um, the first is I I want to give a shout out to McDonald's and Coca-Cola that is served at McDonald's. It was not until about 12, 13 years ago that I discovered that the Coca-Cola and the Coca-Cola products you receive at McDonald's are different than the rank and file Coca-Cola products that you can buy at a corner store or a grocery store. McDonald's has its own agreement with Coke. There's a secret formula, and both the regular and the diet variety are magically freaking delicious. So a shout out to McDonald's and the Coca-Cola that they serve over uh over the rocks, over the ice cubes. The second, I want to give a shout out to ice cream cakes. I have always been much more of a pie fella than a cake fella. But if I had to have a cake, an ice cream cake is the way to go. And and if you're you're in a conundrum about what kind of cake to get for somebody in your life, an ice cream cake is a safe bet, unless they're lactose intolerance, in which case I wouldn't give it to them because that could be a disaster. But if they're not lactose intolerant, you can't go wrong with an ice cream cake. And finally, the last shout out that I want to give on a birthday episode is to moms and dads in general, and my mom and dad in particular. My dad has passed, but without mom and dad, there would be no me. And we're gonna leave it there. All right. Believe it or not, folks, we're at the halfway mark already. And we're gonna talk about lessons learned. And my lessons learned today are not just lessons learned. I'm looking at it as my birthday gift to all of you. And perhaps some of you have discovered the thing, the same things that I have learned over my amazing journey. Maybe you've learned some other things along your amazing journey. And if you have and you're willing to share, I'd I'd love to hear about the things that you've learned every time you celebrate another birthday, every time you take another trip around the sun. So feel free to send me an email at AmazingJourneypodcast at PM.me. That's AmazingJourney Podcast at PM.me. First and foremost, Admiral obvious that I am sometimes, each trip that we take around the sun is a gift. As I said earlier, a few minutes ago, it is not a guarantee. None of us are guaranteed tomorrow. None of us are guaranteed tonight. And we've had a year in my life where we've lost some very important people, and not a day goes by that I don't think of them, that I don't remember them. And I remember most importantly the lessons that they taught us. And one of the greatest ones is do not take a single day for granted. Do not call it in. The second thing, despite my funny story of learning humility on the London Underground, um, just because you're getting older does not necessarily mean that things are getting worse. I believe I am a much wiser and a better man at 55 than I was at 25, 35, or 45. I've obviously made some mistakes. I've made a lot of them over, you know, a half a century plus five. But I've learned from a lot of them. And I think it has made me a kinder, gentler, more empathetic person, not necessarily somebody who's ready to pounce when somebody makes a mistake. I can be a little bit more understanding and compassionate. So just because you're getting older does not necessarily automatically mean that things are getting worse. The next lesson that I learned upon reflection is I do not regret very many things that I've done. Most of my regrets in life come from things that I haven't done. And I'd like to ask of you, I'd like to ask each of you to take just a couple of minutes and reflect on that. Is there something in your life that you've been wanting to do for years? Is it a career change? Do you want to start a band or become a participant in a band? Do you want to take up a new hobby? Do you want to be the leader of a book club? Whatever it is, what are you waiting for? Don't wait. Don't look back towards the end of your golden years and have the regrets that you didn't do XYZ, A, B, C, or one, two, three. Another lesson that I learned is just because my body and everything contained in it are getting older does not mean that I have to lose a youthful mentality and perspective on things. It's not saying that you go through your life being an you know an immature fool. But it's saying that you can enjoy a beautiful day throwing the frisbee, walking the dog, holding hands with the person you love, just as you did when you were young. You do not have to forego that stuff because it's quote-unquote kid stuff. Goodness is goodness, regardless of the age that you are. The next thing that I've learned, and it it takes us down the path of gratitude, is I am so grateful for a body that still works. I am so grateful for a body at 55 years old that still looks pretty good. Listen, I'm not wearing a speedo anytime soon, but I'll tell you, when I had a you know, abs of steel 18, 19 years old, I didn't wear a speedo, just not my thing. But I'm very, very grateful that limbs move the way that they're supposed to, and that I'm just about as strong as I've always been. In some cases, with certain muscle groups, stronger. Because of injuries where I've had to rehabilitate myself, I've ended up stronger than I was when I was younger. So it has been said, and it's very, very true, when you have your health, you have everything. Next on the list for Lessons learned and cosmic appreciation. I really have an appreciation for the total package of my life. I am so grateful for the blessings, and I've had many, and I continue to have many. I'm also grateful for the challenges because the challenges that I experience, I think the challenges that we all experience in our lives kind of tell ourselves and the rest of the world who we truly are. It is easy to be happy, go lucky, and smiling and in a great mood when everything's going right. Somebody truly shows you who they are and what the content of their character is when absolutely positively everything is going wrong. And those challenges have helped me get to the next level in life and be a better man and a better partner and a better father and a better son and a better sibling and a better friend. I'm also grateful for my prayers that have been answered. And sometimes I'm even more grateful for the ones that haven't been answered. Because clearly, if they haven't been answered, I'm not supposed to be going down that path. I just didn't have the wisdom to know it at the time. The next thing that falls under the lessons learned with respect to gratitude category is the people who love me enough to make the time and take the time to commemorate my special day with me. Folks, I'm not going to lie to you here. There were times in my life where I would lament on the fact that people who celebrated my birthday with me when I was little were no longer here to celebrate it. Phone calls that I would get, my maternal grandmother coming up on public transportation on the bus to make me a chocolate mayonnaise cake, whip it up, and spend the day and put the walnuts on the top of it the way that she used to, just the way that I liked it on top of the frosting. She wasn't there. I wasn't going to get that birthday card. I wasn't going to get that phone call anymore. And if I'm very honest, it made me very, very depressed. I went through about 15 years of what I would call a birthday renaissance, where I really hated to see the day coming. And by the grace of God and somebody who loves me very, very much, I understand that that's not the right way to look at it. You know, see reference A, see the first point of this section. Every day is a gift. And you can't focus on the fact that people that you love aren't there with you. Here's the secret they are there with you. You can't see them, but you can feel them, and they are there. And you see that and all the good that comes out of you when they're the ones that taught you to be kind, that taught you to be safe, that taught you to be considerate, that taught you to be thoughtful. Those are the birthday gifts that continue to give in your life every single day. It took me a while to get my mind right and come back to that perspective. So for that wonderful, amazing person who helped me figure that out again, and you know who you are. Thanks a million. I love you very much. The last point that I want to leave you with today is a very deep philosophical point. And folks who have served with me in combat zones or have worked with me may believe that, Mike, I don't think you have philosophical depth if it's much past the depth of the waiting pool. And I like to play the village idiot because A, people don't expect anything from you, and B, they end up underestimating you. But the fact of the matter is, on this point that I'd like to share with you before we sign off for the day, my birthday, my trip around the sun has given me the opportunity to reflect on the fact that I may not be exactly where I wanted to be or I thought I would be when I was little, going along the lines of where this podcast started. Will you still need me? Will you still feed me when I'm 64? My life at 55 is very different from what I thought it would look like when I was 16, 18, 19, 21, getting ready to take on the world. But I am exactly where I need to be, doing exactly what I need to be doing. And I have the people in my life that not have they don't have to be there. They choose to be there. And ladies and gentlemen, that is a huge difference and an incredible blessing that you cannot put a dollar amount on. The people that are in your life choose to be in your life, and you choose to have them in your life because you're exactly where you're supposed to be. So I hope that the reflections and somewhat ramblings of a 55-year-old man have brought some good memories back to you reflecting on perhaps some of your favorite birthdays. They can be wonderful times, they can be difficult times, but they are all gifts nonetheless. And if things aren't the way that you want them to be in your life, get up every morning after you wash your face and brush your teeth, you've had your breakfast, you've had your coffee, tea, or in my case, Pepsi Cola on the rocks with just a little wedge of lemon. Look yourself in the mirror and commit to yourself that you're going to do the best you can do today to continue to make the life that you want to have. That's all I've got, folks. I am so grateful to be alive and healthy. I am grateful for the opportunity and the ability to have made another trip around the sun. I look back on my life when I was born and the things that I've seen and the things that I've experienced. When I was little, I had a little Vic Trola record player, and that's how I would listen to my music. You would wind it up, you'd put the records on there, and they would play and play and play until you had to wind it up again. Then I thought I was in the big leagues because I got a record player that plugged in. And I went from stereos to boom boxes to cassette tapes to CD players. And now we have iPhones and iPods and digital media. It has been an absolutely, positively fantastic ride. And I am optimistic and eager for the remainder of the amazing journey that's ahead of me. So thank you again for your time and your attention. I say it and I will keep saying it each episode. The greatest gift we can give one another is our time. I'm so grateful that you've chosen to spend your time with me. Until we're together again and on our next episode, I ask for what I ask for all the time. Please look after yourselves, look after the ones you love, be healthy, be safe, be well, be kind. Kindness doesn't cost anything. Be considerate. Get outside in nature. Make sure you put that sunscreen on. Starting to get hot. Summer is officially here on the 21st of June. And until we meet again, be the best version of yourself that you can be. Thank you again for spending my birthday with me. This is your friend Mike, and I'm signing off.