Graduation Reflections

Thoughts on a recent graduation, as well as graduations gone by.

Transcript

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Hello, ladies and gentlemen. It's your friend Mike, and welcome to the Amazing Journey Podcast. I say it all the time, and I'm going to come right out of the gate saying it again. The most precious gift that we can give one another is our time and attention. And I'm extremely grateful that you're giving me your time and attention right now. We've got about a half an hour's worth of fun together. And I'm going to be speaking for a bit tonight about culminating events in life, specifically graduation ceremonies and moving up ceremonies. And the genesis for this is that I was invited to attend my nephew's graduation from high school. For our listeners overseas who may not be familiar, that is the equivalent of your secondary schools. And my nephew was salutatorian in his class. I'm incredibly proud of him, not only for his academic success, for the solid young, but for also for the solid young man that he has become and that he is. And I wish him great success. And I know he's going to do great things in his life and continue to make all of us proud. It had been a while since I had been to a graduation ceremony, 10 years, in fact, almost to the day. And that was the last time my one of my children graduated from high school. And I could not believe the difference in 10 years. So we're going to get into that in a moment. We're going to get right into it. But we're going to start this episode as we start every episode with a visit to the College of Musical Knowledge. Kind of set the table and set the mood with some great songs to put us in the right mindset for graduations. We're going to start with the 1981 hit from the group Styx. Styx is one of my favorite groups, called The Best of Times. It's off of their Paradise Theater album. Anytime I hear that song on the radio, I always go back to high school and my high school years because they're definitely in the top five times of my life. Coming in at number second is the 1987 hit by Richard Marks, Endless Summer Nights. I hear this song and I remember listening to Richard Marks live and in person at one of my favorite concert venues. Very, very close to where I grew up. It was a beautiful night. Perfect summer breeze. Place was sold out, which was tough to do at that arena because they seated a lot of people on lawn seats, but it was during the height of his popularity, and he was a tremendous entertainer. That was off of his self-titled album, Richard Marks. Great song. And then the last one, one of my favorites that always made me think of graduation and moving on to the next chapter in life, is from Brian Adams, The Summer of 69, off of his Reckless album released in 1984. And I know those of you that are avid music historians are going to scold me for bringing such a song on a family-friendly show, but it's a great song. Nonetheless, moving right along, um, we're going to get back into talking about a high school graduation that I attended and just how different everything is now. The first thing that I noticed is everybody is a movie producer. Everybody has got their hands up in the air with the phones facing the stage. You can get a copy of the show for a very nominal fee. It's also being live streamed, which means it could be downloaded and saved from somebody who wasn't able to be there in person. But my goodness, no kidding. I looking around me, there had to be at least 500 phones in the air. Nobody has any privacy anymore. And I found it to be quite distracting. So again, I always do my best on these shows to be positive and upbeat and not complain about anything. The last thing I want to be is a curmudgeon. But boy, oh boy, it was a lot. And it it really, like you really had to concentrate to make sure that you weren't losing sight of what you were there for, and that was to acknowledge the graduation of a generation of young adults that worked really, really hard to get there. The other thing that I had noticed was the large number of inappropriate outbursts and the people in the crowd's inability to fail to follow simple instructions. The principal of the high school was very, very well spoken. His team put together an amazing program. As somebody who has limited experience in event planning and management, show flow is very, very difficult with all the moving parts. That school district does not have a dedicated event planner. So you had a bunch of people who had full-time jobs dealing with the students, getting letters of recommendations out, grading tests, grading papers, and everybody's got to put in the extra hours unpaid to make sure that this ceremony flows properly and doesn't look choppy and silly and stupid. And I'll tell you, they did an outstanding job. I do not impress easily. And I was impressed. But when when the principal gets up there and says, we're going to list, we're going to read a list of people who were in the top 10% of the class, and we ask you to hold your applause and and celebration till we get through the list. We were not three people through the list, and people are doing the hoot, hoot, hoot, you know, swearing, yelling at the top of their lungs, screeching. I found it to be tremendously disrespectful. And I cannot imagine what it was like to be one of those kids whose family was making such a ruckus and a commotion. They had to be mortified. So it took me back to my own high school graduation, which was a long time ago. We're coming up on you know 35, almost 40 years ago. And we didn't do that. And I think there is something to be said. I know there is something to be said for some decorum and some propriety and following the instructions and really not making it about you and drawing attention to yourself in the crowd, but making it about your graduate. I think it started me down the path of other graduation ceremonies that I've been part of. I remember my children had moving up ceremonies from preschool to kindergarten, and then kindergarten to first grade, and then from the fifth grade to the middle school, and then from the middle school to the high school. And a lot of people have said to me over the years, Mike, why do they do this? Why do they bother? Everybody does it. Well, I think it's important to teach children at a young age that A, it's important to have things to work towards. And it's important that we acknowledge that they've completed the assigned tasks that are ahead of them. Because I believe the good habits that we instill in them when they're young will take over second nature as they grow. Now, high school graduation is, I believe, one of the most significant things a young person goes through. In families of faith, you have baptisms and confirmations and bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs and all of the other important feasts and in the other religions that people practice. But this is kind of a great equalizer. And I think it's important to note that even today, in 2026, as I record this, it is not a gimme. Not everybody graduates from high school. Here in the state where I broadcast from, you you can drop out of school at 16 if you so choose. Emancipate yourself and away you go. Right? So to actually get there and get through it and put the time in and do the work, it's it needs to be acknowledged. And we need to take an evening to acknowledge when when people do well and move to the next phase of their lives. It then got me thinking about the next graduation in my own journey in life, and that was from college. And I remember, and I'm not proud of this, I didn't want to go. And I remember having a very terse discussion. I don't want to say heated because I tried very hard never to be disrespectful to my mother, and I and I still do. I don't think we should be disrespectful to our parents and our siblings and or anybody for that matter. But but I remember telling her, Mom, I did the work. What was devastating to me, as silly as this sounds, you know, go through four years of education and you still feel like a Rube. I didn't realize that I wasn't getting my college degree on the day. I really thought they were handing me my degree. And I remember the Bursar, or the you know, the comp troller of the college going in when I went in a few days later just to I had to take care of something in the business office. He was laughing. He said, Oh, yeah, we need to make sure that you don't have any unpaid parking tickets. Because computers, everything was not computerized completely back when I went to school. They wanted to make sure that they got every every last nickel out here before they closed the pay window. So my point was, why are we going to go through this? Why am I going to put my family, you know, sitting in uncomfortable chairs? Whether it's if it's outside, it's going to rain. And on that day, they had to make a snap decision, and it was actually going to rain, so they moved us inside. And it was in an athletic facility, so it was supposed to be air conditioned, but it really wasn't. Point is, I didn't want to go. And my mom was the one who said, you have to go. This isn't just about you. You have to go, you have to walk across that stage for your father. It means the world to him. He didn't go to college, he didn't graduate from college. So he's graduating from college through you. And he sacrificed an awful lot in his life to make sure that you had the opportunity. And I will tell you, uh, there are not many people who can lay on a guilt trip better than the proverbial Jewish mother. But my mother, my family was wonderful because you know, you had the guilt from the Irish-European side and the shame from the Southern Italian side. So um, yeah, laid on thick and and ladled out. Long story short, I went. And it all it was only when I look back now as a man in my 50s that I really understand how right mom was. And I'm glad that I did it. And I'm glad that dad got to see it. And you know, it was kind of a it was kind of a feather in his cap. He could tell people I I have a son that's a college graduate. It was my generation was the first generation in my family on either side that graduated from uh a four-year program. So it was pretty, it was pretty significant. And I think about college graduation ceremonies now. And and the one thing that got me about the high school ceremony of a few days ago and the college graduations that I've been to over the years, including my own, is the number of guest speakers. And even now, when all of these college and university graduation speeches are online, I get through a lot of them and I have no idea what these folks are talking about. Like, what is the message? Why are we doing this? And then you find out that a lot of these speakers are getting speaking fees. And it's like, is that part of the reason why this tuition is so high? Because we have to pay people who we're not going to remember in 10 years to come and tell us things we don't know what they're talking about. It just doesn't make sense. It's counter counterintuitive. And then it got me thinking about a lot of the military graduation ceremonies. I ran a couple of officer accession programs during my time on active duty. And every Friday we had graduations. Certain ones started at nine o'clock, then 10 o'clock, then 11 o'clock, then 12 o'clock. And on a really busy week when we have all five schoolhouses going at once, one o'clock. And I remember the pride that I would look. It was interesting to look out into the crowd at that time, in those times, to see the reactions of the family members who were sitting there. You had a lot of the moms who were trying to be happy, but you could see the terror in their eyes. Because it's not like their babies were graduating from high school. Their babies finished an accession program and at a moment's notice could be sent off to war and possibly lose their lives. And you could always tell the family members who had been in the service because they were happy and they're beaming with pride. But there's also this little tinge of sadness, especially for the ones who had been sent in harm's way. Because they know what's waiting for these recently graduated folks. And I think all of us can relate to that to a high school or a secondary school graduation. When when my when my nephew gave his speech, it was so full of optimism and hope and joy. And I was beaming with pride for him and the way he delivered that speech. But I found myself as the youngsters all got up and gave their speeches having a heavy heart. Because at some point, reality is going to kick these youngsters right in the chest. And I found myself saying prayers for them that their optimism never wanes, that they always find a way to be positive. Right? It's kind of like that line out of The Outsiders, stay golden, pony boy. I I really prayed all of them could find a way in their own ways to stay golden. Whether or not that happens, time will tell. I cannot believe we're at the point in the program where we do our shout-outs. So we're going to take just a couple of minutes and talk about three things that I would like to put over for the week. The first is club soda. Nature's little miracle worker. For those of you that are not familiar, a nice little bottle of club soda on Ready Standby takes all of the ketchup, mustard, hot sauce, gravy, mashed potato, marinara sauce stains out of your clothing because a lot of folks like to go out to dinner before the ceremony. Inevitably, somebody gets a spot on themselves, and then you look like a hilly billy trying to take pictures with food spots all over you. A nice little bottle of club soda will take care of that. So keep a little bottle of club soda in your glove box, in the trunk of the car, in your handbag. If you carry a handbag, just make sure you don't leave it in there during the winter or the summer because one way or another they can explode. Nonetheless, can't go wrong with a bottle of club soda handy. The second, I have to get a plug-in for New Holland tractors. One of the greatest things that I ever treated myself to is my New Holland tractor. It's got a bucket on the front. It's like I'm a big kid playing with life-size Tonka toys. And uh I cannot say a bad thing about my New Holland tractor if I wanted to. It comes with all kinds of attachments that you can buy separately. My bucket has saved my back and arms and legs from a lot of uh manual labor, moving uh stone and dirt and sand from A to B. I bought myself the snowblower attachment. I literally can do my driveway in less than two minutes with a pass down and a pass back. So if you've got some land, you you uh have a long driveway, get yourself a new Holland piece of equipment. You will not be sorry. I recommend the Workmaster 25S. And the last thing I'd like to give a shout out to is Lindy's Italian ice. I had forgotten how much I love Italian ice. Magically delicious, especially on these hot summer days. Cools the palate, which starts cooling the rest of you off almost immediately. Pick yourself up Lindy's Italian Ice. They are nationwide. So we're getting to the part of the program where we talk about lessons learned. And I'd like to give some lessons learned from a bunch of different perspectives of anybody going to one of these culminating ceremonies, a graduation, a moving up, a moving forward. First, I'd like to give it to you from a meeting planner's perspective. And we will start off with the most obvious, Admiral obvious that I am sometimes, right? Let's never forget that the reason that we have these ceremonies is for the graduates. It's for the graduates. Why are you emphasizing that, Michael? Well, I'm glad you asked. When you're putting together the program for speakers, let the graduates speak. They're the ones that have done four years to get out of this high school. They came in as very awkward, gawky, socially inept people, the vast majority of them. They're leaving as young adults. And I will tell you, not just my nephew's speech, but just about every speech that one of those graduating seniors gave really touched me. I did not realize, for example, how being socially isolated and learning from home in middle school hurt these kids. It really hurt them. They persevered, they got through it. But it really took away from their learning because each of them mentioned it. I think we need to hear from those graduates. I'm not saying that it's not important for a principal or a superintendent or a school board president to have a say. But if we're being very honest, nobody's going to remember who your guest speaker was unless it was a high priced movie star. Or something, or you were able to get a former president to come. I couldn't tell you who my guest speaker was. I'd have to look in the scrapbook in the program to see who it was. So if you're putting one of these programs together, you know, pick the potted plant, pick the talking head, principal, school board, president, superintendent, a few words, moving on, and let the kids do it. Let them take ownership of the program. That will mean more to them when they reflect back in their memories. From a speaker's perspective, I remember the first time as a young naval officer. I had just turned 22 years old, and I was asked to give a speech to a local local business organization. Now, I had no idea why they wanted a 22-year-old Navy ensign who never deployed anywhere. But for whatever reason they did. So I wrote this speech, and there was no tougher critic for this type of stuff than my father. My father was a foreman in a factory before he became management. He called balls and strikes, folks. There was no, you know, if you were great, he'd tell you you did okay. If you stunk, he'd tell you that too. And I went through, gave this speech that would have made Abraham Lincoln and the Gettysburg Address look inferior. I knew I nailed it. I said, Oh, this is terrific. I said, What'd you think, Daddy? He said, Son, moving forward, I need you to remember this. Nobody cares what you say. What they care about and will remember is how short of a time you took to say it. And he went downstairs with his glass of water and watched television. So I share that wisdom with you. If you're asked to be a guest speaker, four minutes or less. Nobody cares about your accomplishments. Nobody cares about your victories on the battlefield. Nobody cares about your academic prowess. See reference A. Stick to the kids, wish them well, and go sit down like a potted plant. And then I'd like to give it from a graduate's perspective. One of the things that came rushing back to me, watching my nephew among his friends and classmates the other night, is that every graduation ceremony is an evening, an afternoon, or a morning, depending on when the ceremony is, of lasts. L-A-S-T-S lasts. It's the last time you're going to see that guy that you sat behind in homeroom for the last four years. It's the last time you're going to see that beautiful girl that caught you staring at her in the passageway in between classes. And as you got older and started to fill out a little bit, she smiled at you and had your mouth get all dry. It's the last time you and your best buddies are going to be hanging out, eating pizza, playing video games. Some of you are going to go into the service. Some of you have to go to work on Monday. Some of you are going to be around for the summer and go away to college or university. But the next time you all get back together, it's all going to be very different. And so, from the family members' perspective, please give your graduates some grace and understand that. That the emotions after they cross that stage and flip their tassel are going to be running through a lot of them. And it's like, now what? I prayed to get the strength to get through high school, and now I got through high school. And oh dear, I have to grow up. And as time goes on, in between the summers for college, everybody goes their separate ways. And yes, I'm not saying people don't make friends for life when they go to college, but it's different. It's different. Of all the friends I've had in my life, my high school friends, the ones I knew from back in the day, mean the most to me. Because they knew me before my voice changed. They knew me before I had the courage to ask a young lady to go to a dance with me. They knew me before I fell in love. They knew me before I had heartbreak. Your graduates are going through the same thing. So if they're not overly excited to take pictures with you, if they're not doing cartwheels because, you know, you're asking them to get in between Aunt Gertrude and Uncle Jake and take a silly picture, please don't take it personally. They've got a lot of mixed emotions going through them. And from everybody else's perspective in the audience, please, I implore you. Keep the stuff with the electronic devices during the ceremony to a minimum. Please. I understand that it is commonplace and these things aren't going away anytime soon. But there are some people in the audience that would just like to sit and reflect on what it was like when that graduate was little, when you kicked a soccer ball with them, the first time you read one of their papers they wrote, the first time they showed you how fast they could type and they were graded on it. All of those things. The first time you watch them get dressed up and go to a dance or a prom. And it is incredibly distracting when you feel like there are 500 news reporters all trying to get the same scoop. Let's pump the brakes sometimes, folks. Let's show each other a little courtesy. I understand that these moments are forever. I do. But keep your forever moment in your swim lane and don't get in everybody else's space, their face, their grill, and their head zone. We're at the point in the program where it's almost time to say goodbye. So I'd like to conclude with this. Graduations are incredibly special for a variety of reasons. There is some sadness with the closing of one chapter of life. There is tremendous joy and excitement because, as the saying goes, when one chapter closes, another one is starting, it's opening, right? And it's our job to help guide our graduates down the trail to the next spot in their amazing journey in life. So be happy for them, be compassionate, be empathetic, be understanding when those mixed emotions we talked about a couple of minutes ago happen. And for most people, they will. Some navigate it just fine. Some really struggle with it. When you realize that when September rolls around, the end of August rolls around, your classmates aren't the ones that you're used to, good, bad, or indifferent. So please show them some grace. Folks, that's about it for us on this episode of our Amazing Journey Podcast. If you'd like to get in touch with me, please don't hesitate to send me an email, AmazingJourneypodcast at PM.me. That's AmazingJourneypodcast at PM.me. If you like what you hear, you like the product I'm putting out here, please tell the people that you care about. Forward them the link, ask them to have a listen. We're uh our number of downloads is increasing pretty significantly, and that's all because of all of you. And and thank you for that. Until our next episode, please look after yourselves and each other. Pay special attention to the people that you love. Please be kind when you can. It really doesn't cost anything. Stay hydrated this summer. If you're out in the sun, make sure you put that sunscreen on, okay? Until next time, my friends, this is your friend Mike, and I'm signing off.